a change.

Ahh there's just been so much on my mind these days that it disgusts me. I feel like I'm becoming who I was: an emotional, dramatic, sorry little girl. So not cute. Haha.
I'm honestly tired of running to old friends' beckon calls as if I actually truly believe they give a fuck about me. All they honestly want to do is talk about themselves to feel better than others. ...At least that's how they make it seem. So I'm going to change that and stop being someone who lets others treat her as a doormat. &YES, I know I've been saying that for months now, but maybe if I write it just once more, I'll really try.

Another subject that made me act unlike myself was the way I went gaga over a person. No no no. It's even embarrassing to think about how I acted. I seriously have my whole life ahead of me &I do NOT need that distraction. So there. Problem realized, problem SOLVED. As one of my great friends would ALWAYS tell me when she hears me bitch &moan about ANYTHING in life... "You know the problem, now find a solution." THERE. I'm freeeee♥ &wouldn't trade it for a thing.

In relation to the gaga-ness, I realized that I need to be a better person, a better citizen... I guess you can say. I always talk about how ignorance should be overcome by educating oneself &whatnot, but I realized that I was so closed-minded that when it came down to MY ignorance, it wasn't "ignorance" anymore. I spend wayyyy too much time on PerezHilton.com &watching E! ! I need to spend more time reading about what's really significant: the future &just what is going on in the world around me. I'm a registered voter, but I'm not even educating myself on all 16 or 17 candidates. Yes, that many. I don't want to be the typical teenage girl that only thinks about herself and her "little world." I like to think I'm not that kind of girl - or that kind of person, in general - but there is so much more I can do. So enough about me &my insignificant drama &more on others. Like what I used to say to my friends when they would cry over spilled milk... "Think about genocide in Darfur!" So it's time for me to listen to my own advice &become that person that's cautious of the world around them. [=

So in short, I need to stand up for myself, eliminate distractions (because it's all about having fun &living life!), &just know more about what's going on around me. It's definitely possible to do all three... right?

A change. It'll be good.