Quote of the Day.

Built a wall around my heart. I’ll never let it fall apart, but strangely I wish secretly it would fall down while I'm asleep. If you don't know, then you can't care.
-"Nothing Lasts Forever" by Maroon 5

It happens when you least expect it. I can't stop wanting it.

Quote of the Day.

Harry Burns: No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
-"When Harry Met Sally"

Men and women can't be friends? Still thinking about it. Yet, I do believe men &women can't be friends without one of them having or had an attraction to the other person. There's my two cents.

Quote of the Day.

I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
-Harry Burns from "When Harry Met Sally"

Is there anyone out there?

Unrequited.

If I were to write a book today, it would be entitled "Unrequited."

There are many friends of mine who do not yet know me on a deeper level just yet. Yet, for some reason, people I go out with know so much about me. I open up very easily to them. All I want is someone to see that spark in me and love me for it. I know, I know I am twenty years of age and have so much time to find the person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. However, I'm tired of playing the field. For the little time that I have played the field, all the boys that I have met were conceited, unintelligent, slow men who I have no future with. They're either douchebags or don't know I really like them. Or both. Where is the "none of the above" option? All I really want is someone I can hold a real conversation with. Someone who knows good eats. Someone who likes to go on adventures. Someone who doesn't want to be lonely late at night. Someone who is okay with me not putting out. I've grown up. I know exactly what I want. However, I may be molding the ideas of these guys to fit exactly as 'my perfect guy'. I think, "oh who cares if they are still in love with this other girl, they'll see I treat them better and they'll see how amazing I am and they'll fall in love with me." Oh honey, that doesn't happen. How many times do I scream out the lyric,
"&After all the boys &girls that we've been through, would you give it all up? Could you give it all up if I promise boy to you?"
Or how about,
"You don't know about my past &I don't have a future figured out &maybe this is going too fast &maybe it's not meant to last, but what do you say to taking chances?"
Or,
"He stands there then walks away. My god, if I could only say, "I’m holding every breath for you..."
All this screams out, "I REALLY LIKE YOU, BUT DO YOU LIKE ME?!" OH, DO YOU HEAR THAT? I think that's the noise of him running away.

Maybe this guy isn't perfect for me, but I can't seem to take off these rose-colored glasses. I fall for someone who shows a slight interest in me. Why is that? Is that bad? I put myself out there.... but sometimes for the worst people.

I said I wanted my love life back, but wow. I'm confused all over again. I prayed to God to grant me patience. I think he just gave me situations to force me to become patient. I've learned to not make a boy run away by telling them you like them and asking them if they like you back. How did I learn this? Guess. So, I'm guessing this situation I'm in now is telling me to just be good friends with this guy. If something comes up, it'll come up. BUT, from "When Harry Met Sally," Harry says at the end, "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." That's exactly how I feel. But why is it so taboo to say that out loud to someone? Someone you have gotten to know. Ugh, I guess I'm just a hopeless romantic who loves to torture herself.

Nothing's even going on by the way. Once my guard goes down again, I'll let you know.

Quote of the Day.

Photograph by Stephannie Casanova.

Yeah, they talk about her. She smiles like she's so tough. She says, "hey can you talk a little louder? I don't think my heart is broken enough." But someday we'll all be old &I'll be so damn beautiful.
-"Paper Bag" by Anna Nalick

Ms. Nalick, your words have always intrigued me. The rawness of your songs. The capturing of female feelings - feelings of loss, regaining oneself, and loving oneself. It is as if you knew exactly what I am currently going through when you wrote this song. You are one brilliant, marvelous singer-songwriter.

Quote of the Day.

Life plays such silly games inside of me. I wish I were free from this pain in me. &I'm juggling all the thoughts in my head; I'm juggling and my fear's on fire. &I remember the time my balance was fine &I was just walking on one fine wire.
-"One Fine Wire" by Colbie Caillat

Balancing.