Off to a Better Place.

Moving on. It'll be incredibly difficult, but it's finally time. I am strong. I am disciplined. I am focused.

I pride myself in knowing my priorities. I keep my family first. However, I am learning that perhaps distance will be the only way to keep us together. We - not just them - have been taking one another for granted and are constantly hurting one another. I need time apart, time to clear my head and to fully prioritize my life. I don't like unnecessary drama &that will most probably be the fall of me if I decide to stay. I need to keep my goals pristine in not only my mind, but also in my heart. This is what I am doing for Ma, my grandma. Ma &Lolo always lived for their family. I am doing this for our family. I need to get out of my bubble and get out into the world, fully. I need to become more independent and learn for myself. I must take away all the preconceived notions in my mind produced by my environment, by my family, by my conventional elders &most importantly, my parents. I love them so much, but I think it's time to show them how much I can truly succeed.

As for CJ... there is no way I will be able to let him fully grow if I am always nearby. It saddens me every morning I wake up that he is entirely dependent on me. I love him so much, but I know his potential and I know he is ready, but he won't - he won't venture out on his own - if I'm still here to help him along. Times are changing and life is calling me. No one should assume that I will carry his burden all my life.

And as for Xie... I hope he'll be able to go on this journey with me. My eyes were opened today when I found out that I am the reason he is staying here in LA. He has so much bottled up potential to become so much more, but due to his obligations to me as an older brother, he has decided to remain behind. I can't fully keep my family together, contrary to what has been said. It is not a one-person job... &This - this is due to him being my support, my motivator, my role model.

It disheartens me that one day soon, I'll be leaving most of my family, my friends - people I love, to fly out, grow, &prove the capacity of my intellect, but most importantly my strength. A great person knows when it's time to let go.

Finally, it's time for me to let go - go off to a better place.

This is my one chance.