Sex/Love/Intensity/Passion.

I've been molded to a rushed kind of love. Falling fast and falling apart faster. I've never been the one to end things because the passion ignites the thrill in me to venture something deeper, something more. The past relationships I've been in have never satisfied me fully. They were great, yes, but it always left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Sex complicates things. It's just the truth of the matter. I understand people who can just do it to do it, but sooner or later, the other person or that person, themselves, develop a kind of clingy complex. Feelings become involved, reciprocation does not. &We're hurt &searching all over again. I don't know, maybe it's not love that I love, but the intensity of a relationship. The connection. The attraction- the raw, original, genuine attraction. Of course, another factor comes into play: games. I don't know about you, but I hate playing these games. I understand that the chase is pivotal in the start of something, but what gets lost in it is the realness. Can't someone truly just want to get to know someone more without being this superficial LA mystery? Now, I'm not saying to let go of your heart &spill out your feelings either. There's a good balance - &maybe that right there is the game in itself. But that's all gray area.

Sex is best when it's deeper, passionate, sensual, touching, breathing, reciprocal actions, deepening, intense, with a hint of love for the insides of a person (figuratively). It's meaningful, beautiful &a gateway to the person's soul. Not the gateway, but a gateway. Ugh, this makes me sound like a total addict. I promise you I'm not - when I don't. It's great to have, do, feel, &express.

Love is sweetest when it's innocent. &After the first love, it really isn't anymore. The "sweet" part about it is the little things. The subtleties. &God knows I love the subtleties. It's a specific sort of feeling. It is found in actions. It may be found in sex, intensity &passion, but not always. There's a difference. Love, to me, is the romanticism of feelings. The giddiness, the kindness, the caring, the understanding of someone's truest &purest nature. When you find someone who satisfies this, it is signified by the look. I don't know if most of you know, but I am utterly obsessed with the look. I only have one friend who understands me fully with this. It's hard to explain. It's usually the sparks in someone's eyes that are expressed when they look @someone they truly care for. Not an empathatic or sympathetic look, but an intense, "Oh my god, this man/woman is all I can think of &see right now. &When looking @them, all my desires are fully and wonderfully quenched." Yeah, I'm getting all profound &whatnot, sue me. I don't really search for a love like this, but when I am in the midst of it, I know, understand &fully appreciate it. &To reiterate, I have not been fully satisfied through my past relationships. This love I am describing may also go for friendships, as well. &The friendships I cherish - my core - have some aspect of this love that make me fully satisfied as a whole. You can call me a puzzle, but I have most of my pieces intact. The bigger picture is known, but I know the shape of the pieces that are missing.

Intensity and passion are beautiful and rarely kept in relationships. This is usually found in the chase, or the beginning of getting to know someone. However, if this is kept, it would be a hell of a relationship. This is mostly kept in their sexual desires, which is fine. But it is best when one has their own intensity and passion for a different aspect - let's say art or music - &allows someone in to see and intertwine with it. Not become a part of it, but have an understanding of the feeling of the element they are satisfied with. I'm a Libra, so I come from the planet Venus, the planet of beauty, love and sensuality. I'm an idealist, but I know when to move in &when to create space... most of the time. I like the feel of equal effort &equal desires, which I think is wanted by most people. Settling for dullness is never an option &shouldn't be. I've never "broken hearts" because I downright tell them that they're just not satisfying me. If they push the envelope, I'll gladly change my mind. I search for specific opposite aspects of people that I can add to my balance - that I can interrogate, uplift &connect with. Everyone I keep around me has a specific je ne sais quoi that can be defined as determination for a specific thing - or for anything they still don't know yet. Knowing everything doesn't have to lead to intensity being shared between people. The process is good, too. When these details are intermingled into something as great as love or sex, the outcome is brilliant &absolutely, positively lethal.

What can I say? I wear my heart on my sleeve. ♥♥♥♥


(http://astrology.about.com/od/venus/p/VenusLibra.htm)