Rejection.

Let me start off with this: I have never, never been rejected by a school before. Or anything academic. &What do I read today once I get off of lab? "Unfortunately......" That's enough. &Not to mention, I haven't even heard from any of the other places except NIH saying my application is under review. Great.

&I know what it sounds like, "Boo hoo, I'm smart and got rejected by one school, a school I didn't even want to apply to." However, when everything in the rest of your life seems to be going down, the only thing you can control is your goals. The one thing that doesn't change in this ever-changing world, ever-disappointing world is where you choose to direct yourself for the future. My academics were it. They were the love of my life &God, did they love me back. Or so I thought.

I don't see the light @the end of the tunnel just yet. I'm still waiting for that. I'm thinking that maybe I'm not meant to go there. After all, God closes a door, but opens a window. Something like that. As of now, I'm sitting in a very unventilated room - no windows, locked doors, no sunlight in sight. I really don't know how I sunk back here. I was doing really well. Maybe it's just a bad day. I'm hoping for tomorrow to be good. I try my hardest to not get pulled into the gravity of all this.

With rejection, you just have to take it how it is. One "no" doesn't mean an "always no." It means a no for right now, for this.

Goodbye UCSD, I hardly knew thee.