Quote of the Day.

[Boys] weaken your hearts. Without your heart, you cannot win.

-Roland from "A Knight's Tale"

Sprung, infatuated, in lust, in like, in love. It's a weakness. A disease. An abnormal, forced, involuntary response formed by the media, upbringing &preconceived notions. Break from the mold. Keep up a guard. Be content in oneself because an ounce of weakness shown is defeat.

This is the plan. That was the plan.

Bad Habits Die Hard.

I slipped. BAD GIRLS CLUB, most definitely. It's that fucking time of year.

Me, Myself &I.

Australia was absolutely beautiful. My summer was filled with unexpected, unpredictable events. My summer was incredible &definitely indescribable.

But I'm ready now. I'm ready to leave this town &the people in it. I'm ready to push the bullshit aside. I'm ready to stop the games. I'm ready to leave this drama.

Let the isolation process begin. In the end, it all comes back down to me. I understand it. ...&I can't wait.

THREE DAYS.

Photography by Riddhi Dhruv. [:

Until I head off to the land down under! ...Australia! Sydney, Australia, to be exact.

I feel like I haven't been writing in this as much as I used to. So, because of that, I wanted to update this just in case people worry... which I doubt. haha.

My trip to Sydney to visit my lovely best will be my first flight outside of the United States. Yes, I have never been to the Philippines. This is absolutely crazy, I know. I'm only going to be there for 2 and a half days. The ticket was roughly $750. I'm going to have to take the cab alone to Macquarie University &back to the airport by myself. It's a foreign country. But still. Riddhi &I are crazy that way. I'll be able to visit my best friend, who may somewhat be homesick. I'll be able to bring her her luggage that she had to leave behind. I'll get to say that my first time being outside of the country was a spontaneous trip. I'll get to explore the world around me. I'm young. If I'm not going to do it now, when am I ever going to do it?

I am absolutely ecstatic! I don't even know if it has hit me yet. I think when I'm on the way to the airport, I'll feel it. Ahh! I've applied &been accepted for a VISA. I've called my bank. I've made a list of things to bring. I feel so prepared, yet all still feels unpredictable. I like it. I don't know... I'm speechless. I don't know what to expect. All I know is that I'll be with my best. I hope nothing has changed between us. We need to catch up because, apparently, I have not been updated to the fullest extent. I'm anxiously eager to see what's in store.

Pray for me, my lovely readers! I'm going on an adventure! ♥

You Know What Annoys Me?

People who don't update their blogs. AHH. It feels like forever since I've really blogged on here. &That totally caused my site visits to slip. By 34.07%, to be exact.

What else? Having a dry spell! OF COMMENTS ON MY POSTS. haha. Maybe that corresponds with the amount of site visits, but still. I need to work on both, I guess. It's as if I'm not making any comment-worthy posts anymore. Why is this bothering me, you might ask? I have no clue. But it is. It gives me motivation to write more? I know I don't need validation. From anyone, actually. So I guess scratch all of that.

One last thing? People who say one thing &do the other. People who bail. Even when it was scheduled months in advance. Even when the other person knows the event means a lot to them. I guess odds weren't in my favor because odds are that you'd rank @least once a month. I guess here's that once. It was long overdue, I guess. If you're going to flake on me, @least don't do it so selfishly or heartlessly. It doesn't look good on you. It annoys the fuck out of me - &I love you. Don't count on me always being so forgiving or understanding. Most of all, don't take me for granted.

Please &thank you.

Boysboysboys.

OVER THEM.

This is the first time ever that I'm not sprung over a boy, crushing on a boy, pursuing a boy, stuck on a boy, spiteful on a boy, or missing a boy.

WOW.

I should really be doing something more productive with this extra time &extra mind space.

Quote of the Day.

I just didn't feel that way with you. I just woke up one day &I knew... what I was never sure of with you.
*Paraphrased.

-Summer in 500 Days of Summer

When that scene came on, it hit me. [SPOILER ALERT] She told him the truth. She never lead him on. He was in love with her - yes - but she wasn't in love with him. Sometimes, it just doesn't click for the other party. At least she had the balls to tell him. Yes, it hurt a lot, but he knows it's not in his hands.

I had a similar relationship compared to that of Summer &Tom. I was Tom in this relationship. I really was. I set myself up for disaster. When he saw her with that wedding ring, I relived the moments he told me he wasn't looking for a serious relationship to actually having a girlfriend. It played back &it hurt. You just have to trek on through like Tom did. I really loved this movie. My friend, Jeanette, said she was waiting for a movie like this. A non-romantic romantic comedy. &I was also. It's refreshing to see that it's okay when love doesn't come easily. That there isn't a happy ending in sight just yet. When you least expect it, something's gonna come along &you'll be fine. You'll be okay.

I'm okay.

Hit Me.

It's been a little more than a year since that photo was taken. Caught up with Andreu tonight. It's hella crazy how much time has gone by &how much time will continue to go by.

He's leaving for Thailand in two weeks. Gonna be @San Diego &San Francisco these coming days. Graduating in May. Year off. Master's right after. &To think, I'm just one year behind him. Soon, I'll be in my last year of MD/Phd. It's gonna be fucking crazyyy. It already is! Australia in two &a half weeks. Moving in to school a week later. Fall semester beginning. MARC Program. Florida, perhaps, in Spring. Grand Tour of Europe in Summer. Summer Research @a different college. Senior year. DAMN. Butttttt, I may not even graduate in four years, but still. Just writing all that down is mind-boggling. Yes, it's written, but what's gonna happen in between all that. You know? Are we gonna change? Are relationships gonna form? Break apart? It's all so scary. Time just goes by so fast - It just hit me.

I'm definitely gonna miss this Summer. I'm happy to have had a "LA Summer Adventure!" Summer this year. Next year, it'll be a "traveling everywhere" Summer. After that, it'll be MCATs &all that jazz. I don't think it'll ever be this chill again. Two &a half more weeks &I'll be catapulted to Fall &the future. Ughhh.

But - don't you love this feeling of dread &excitement twisted together? Hit meee. ♥

Epic Fails of Summer... So Far.

--Party tonight. Decided last minute to head over to La Habra. 10 minutes after I take a sip of my Corona, I hear the cops have people's license plates written down. Grrrrreat.
--Scraping someone's car @the 24 hour fitness parking lot. FML.
--Saying no to a mostly naked, cute boy. OMFG.
--Sleeping [just sleeping] with a boy [a different boy than the one previously mentioned] & not doing anything with them &saying no. Ughhhh.
--Not inviting myself into another boy's home. Blahhh.

That's all can remember so far. It's funny how most of them are regarding boys &my chance to do something. Hahh, I guess my values prevail? Yay meee. lmfao.

Although I am listing the at-the-moment "regrettable" actions of my Summer, they are nothing compared to how much fun I am having, how much happiness I am feeling, how many relationships made &friendships strengthened. All I can do is learn from these fails [even though technically 3/5 of them were good, sound choices - ughh], adjust myself &make the right actions/decisions for the last 30ish days of Summer I have left.

Missions have been accomplished. I am about to accomplish the last one on the original list; however, I am adding to it in order to winnn. [If you know what I meannn.] Let's do this.

Feel Good.

I have a sure-fire routine to make me feel better when I feel like shit. &That is:

-Sleep/take a nap
-Work out
-Go out

Facebook, ice cream, food, or television is in no way added to this routine. These are the bare essentials that make me happy. Time to get started...
Lame post, huhhhh? [: