You know I gotta keep these cheeks dry today, gotta keep my cheating strategy &baby I'm gonna have it made.
But someday we'll all be old &I'll be so damn beautiful.
I was so caught up in the "love vs. career" debate that I never realized that I have neither. As I stand in the CSUDH Student Union ballroom, I feel a wave of anxiety and loneliness. Loneliness? Out of all the other things that should be in my mind while presenting - that's what I feel? How many times did I feel like breaking down right then &there? How many times did my mind wander to the thought that someone with warm &familiar eyes would walk through that door to support me? No one is obliged to me. I don't know why hope was still there.
Twice already did I present - such a great accomplishment, right? But neither times did I feel solace. There are only two people that I can think of that would definitely be there. But they're not in my lives.
I'm beginning to think that there's a lonely future ahead of me. ...Then why is everyone that I "love" pushing me to that future?
21 November 2009
Paper Bag.
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2 comments:
babeee i'm sorry i couldn't go there with youu. I had homework and group projects to catch up on but its not an excuse to make it okay . I wish I could've gone there to make you feel less lonely and comforted. :(
but you know I love you!
maybe this is god's way of telling you and fates way of telling you that you want this and you have this potential. I know you can do this. look at all these amazing opportunities you have. you're well on your way. Then once that stress is done, hes waiting for you. though i do understand that it would be nice to have someone hold you in his arms and tell you it's going to be all right and you're amazing.
But I have high hopes and faith in you and your future. I know you can do this. this is all tangible for you i feel it in my bones.
next conference you have i'll be there. <3
sorry againn love.
& i think we're over due for disneyland.
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