Quote of the Day.

I just didn't feel that way with you. I just woke up one day &I knew... what I was never sure of with you.
*Paraphrased.

-Summer in 500 Days of Summer

When that scene came on, it hit me. [SPOILER ALERT] She told him the truth. She never lead him on. He was in love with her - yes - but she wasn't in love with him. Sometimes, it just doesn't click for the other party. At least she had the balls to tell him. Yes, it hurt a lot, but he knows it's not in his hands.

I had a similar relationship compared to that of Summer &Tom. I was Tom in this relationship. I really was. I set myself up for disaster. When he saw her with that wedding ring, I relived the moments he told me he wasn't looking for a serious relationship to actually having a girlfriend. It played back &it hurt. You just have to trek on through like Tom did. I really loved this movie. My friend, Jeanette, said she was waiting for a movie like this. A non-romantic romantic comedy. &I was also. It's refreshing to see that it's okay when love doesn't come easily. That there isn't a happy ending in sight just yet. When you least expect it, something's gonna come along &you'll be fine. You'll be okay.

I'm okay.

Hit Me.

It's been a little more than a year since that photo was taken. Caught up with Andreu tonight. It's hella crazy how much time has gone by &how much time will continue to go by.

He's leaving for Thailand in two weeks. Gonna be @San Diego &San Francisco these coming days. Graduating in May. Year off. Master's right after. &To think, I'm just one year behind him. Soon, I'll be in my last year of MD/Phd. It's gonna be fucking crazyyy. It already is! Australia in two &a half weeks. Moving in to school a week later. Fall semester beginning. MARC Program. Florida, perhaps, in Spring. Grand Tour of Europe in Summer. Summer Research @a different college. Senior year. DAMN. Butttttt, I may not even graduate in four years, but still. Just writing all that down is mind-boggling. Yes, it's written, but what's gonna happen in between all that. You know? Are we gonna change? Are relationships gonna form? Break apart? It's all so scary. Time just goes by so fast - It just hit me.

I'm definitely gonna miss this Summer. I'm happy to have had a "LA Summer Adventure!" Summer this year. Next year, it'll be a "traveling everywhere" Summer. After that, it'll be MCATs &all that jazz. I don't think it'll ever be this chill again. Two &a half more weeks &I'll be catapulted to Fall &the future. Ughhh.

But - don't you love this feeling of dread &excitement twisted together? Hit meee. ♥

Epic Fails of Summer... So Far.

--Party tonight. Decided last minute to head over to La Habra. 10 minutes after I take a sip of my Corona, I hear the cops have people's license plates written down. Grrrrreat.
--Scraping someone's car @the 24 hour fitness parking lot. FML.
--Saying no to a mostly naked, cute boy. OMFG.
--Sleeping [just sleeping] with a boy [a different boy than the one previously mentioned] & not doing anything with them &saying no. Ughhhh.
--Not inviting myself into another boy's home. Blahhh.

That's all can remember so far. It's funny how most of them are regarding boys &my chance to do something. Hahh, I guess my values prevail? Yay meee. lmfao.

Although I am listing the at-the-moment "regrettable" actions of my Summer, they are nothing compared to how much fun I am having, how much happiness I am feeling, how many relationships made &friendships strengthened. All I can do is learn from these fails [even though technically 3/5 of them were good, sound choices - ughh], adjust myself &make the right actions/decisions for the last 30ish days of Summer I have left.

Missions have been accomplished. I am about to accomplish the last one on the original list; however, I am adding to it in order to winnn. [If you know what I meannn.] Let's do this.

Feel Good.

I have a sure-fire routine to make me feel better when I feel like shit. &That is:

-Sleep/take a nap
-Work out
-Go out

Facebook, ice cream, food, or television is in no way added to this routine. These are the bare essentials that make me happy. Time to get started...
Lame post, huhhhh? [:

The Meaning of Friendship?

&When you're there with no one there to hold, I'll be the arms that reach for you. &When you feel your faith is running low, I'll be there to believe in you. When all you find are lies, I'll be the truth you need. When you need someone to run to, you can run to me.

I'll be the rock that will be strong for you - the one that will hold on to you. When you feel that rain falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be. I'll be the sun when your heart's filled with rain. I'll be the one to chase the rain away.

When it all comes down to it, it's always the person's decision. Whatever situation they're in, they are the only ones that can act on a choice. I just really hope they make the right choice.

As a friend, it hurts when you see one of your closest friends cry - when they are in utter pain, as if their heart is about to shatter into a million pieces right before your eyes. You start to feel hopeless for them, hoping that your kind words &gentle nature will make it 1/190839247835740583 easier. Just a little. You swear off the boy who ever put your best friend in this kind of pain.

I'm always on your side. Always. I'm here to support you &I'm prepared to hold you up when you feel like falling. It's tough, you know? But it's a job I love because I love you. We've lost each other once &I never want that to happen again. Understanding on both sides is important. I try, you try.

All I want is to see my friends happy. That's it. End of story. So if - in the end - you're happy, I'll be happy for you. I'm here to support you, to understand you, to always be there on your side.

Just know that. Because yours is a friendship I never want to lose again - ever.
♥

Quote of the Day.

People ask for advice so they can hear something they don't want to do.

-Xie Mendiola

I guess it's true. Lives are possessed only by the ones living them.

Support My Cause.

...of decreasing the rapid BALL LOSS in boys.

Yes, the cat is out of the bag - I think boys nowadays are losing their flavor, their je ne sais quoi. They're becoming more &more emasculated by their dumb decisions. They can't just say something or act like their true selves due to fear. Since when did your balls drop &pussies come in its place? Honestly?

#1: Boys can't let go. What makes you want to hold onto something just because you're afraid the girl would get hurt? Making them hold on &leading them on is a bitch move. You think that slowly letting them go will do the trick? Just tell us so we can move the fuck on. Don't give us bullshit excuses to make us feel better because we sure as hell know how to get back up again. You leading us on only hinders our ability to move past the shit you put us through.

#2: Boys can't make moves anymore. What happened to their game? They lost it all. It's so not fun anymore. They're becoming more lazy &more attached to testosterone than to girls.

Impress me, please. Flavor my senses. Sweeten my disposition. Stir my imagination. Tickle my fancy. &Nourish my dreams. Challenge me, fight with me, don't be stupid.

So, educate yourselves. Help in this cause. Make a boy a man or - rather - be a man. Please &thank youuuu. ♥

Quote of the Day.

Really they're like that? Like, "Oooh, I'm in the Nursing Program!" I'd be like, "I'm gonna be a DOCTOR, bitches."

-Brittany

My co-worker's thoughts on Mount St. Mary's cliques. She never even heard of the experiences nor met anyone there &yet, she's on point with how some people are. OH, how I'm gonna love being back. Gag me.

Quote of the Day.

Well, yeah. You don't seem like the type who would fall in love easily.

-Robert G.*
*name has been changed, lmfao.

He's got that right. For once.

Sprung!

Huh?! Whaaaat???! LMFAO.

No. No. No. No settlin' for meeee♥.

Pinky promise.

Buzz Chaser.

Fifteen minutes left to throw me together for Mr. Right Now, not Mr. Forever. I've been leaving it up to fate - it's my life, so it's mine to make.

I'm a thrill seeker. I seek out for adventure. I'm a buzz chaserrrr.

Quote of the Day.

Exactly! Boys are boys. We're asking for men!

-Bethie Mau

My manager's thoughts on my answer that "boys are... boys." lmfao. How enlightening.

Who I Am.

Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are? We're all waiting- waiting on your supernova 'cause that's who you are &you've only begun to shine.

I've been so preoccupied in finding an explanation for my past that I forgot who I have grown to be in the present. I allowed myself to become that young girl instead of the young woman that I am. I'm not that girl in high school that was scared to hang around the popular kids. I'm not that girl in high school that stuck on to their boyfriend to define her. I'm not that girl in high school that just listened to her parents in order to plan a future for herself. I'm not that girl in high school that relied only on a few people to make her happy. I'm not "Riddhi's best friend" or "Jaycee's girlfriend," or even "Jaycee's ex-girlfriend." I'm Christia, that chick that goes to MSMC, making a name for herself @UCLA, &hopefully in UCSF or Johns Hopkins someday soon. I'm the girl that gets clicks when she walks, drives, stands, smiles. I'm the woman that I want to be - the woman who knows her responsibilities &priorities. I'm the lady that has hella game &won't settle because she knows there's so much more out there - that we're young &restraining oneself to one thing/person/path of life is incredibly hindering. I'm someone to love people for who they are &will keep loving them no matter what.

I don't want to be judged by what someone can see off the bat. I hide things to be considerate. I have morals, values, pride. I'm sweet, so I don't like stepping on people's toes. If you want to talk about yourself to make you feel good about yourself, go for it. Just because I don't want to be blabbing about myself in order to brag does not mean I have nothing to say. I'm not an easy girl. If I were, I'd still have everything I want, but more, &no pride or integrity to my name.

I guess I had to come full circle to reaize who I really am - to be happy for who I am. I found the true Christia, but I was never really able to appreciate it until I revisited the past &come back to the present all over again.

This is who I am. The core of me is the same, the apprearance &reality of me is a free spirit. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Example #1: Being "independent" from my parents &CJ.
Example #2: Riddhi's &my wish on boys. We should have wished for new boys. It's still hilarious as fuck.
Example #3: Catching up with old friends. Primarily, an ex. I still can't fathom the idea of what is about to go down.

We're never really prepared for anything that happens in life. I have come to believe it is better that way. We become stronger, smarter, wiser &hella entertained.

Let's see where this goes... I'm predicting unpredictability.

Quote of the Day.

I thought we had good game!

-Riddhi Dhruv

&My response? Maybe it was the alcohol... LMFAO.

Nexxxxxxxttt. I love my wingwoman. [:

Naps.

I give up. G'night.

Quote of the Day.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

-Eleanor Roosevelt

I don't know what's worse. Me allowing you to make me feel inferior? Or you constantly doing so although we're close. Think about it.

Quote of the Day.

LOL. COCK fucken BLOCK.

-Riddhi Dhruv via text message

Honestly. I thought elementary kids were random. Fucking high school kids are suuuuper random. Yum, but random &oh sooo soooo drunk. WOW.

Get Right Back On?

You'd think that after all these heartaches, I'd learn to stop loving, right? It doesn't stop hurting.

How am I supposed to know there's such a thing as true love? My parents were never able to find it. I was never able to find it. It feels as if there's just heartbreak out there in the world. How am I supposed to know there's a happy ending that exists for me?

I'm tired of constantly being told "no." Evidence points to no, yet I keep yelling yes. What if I'm just wasting me breath?

I'm falling apart &I can't stop it. I'm trying soooo hard to catch myself, since no one else can.

What if I can't get right back on?

Quote of the Day.

Baby, it's not that you couldn't keep them. They couldn't keep you.

-Riddhi Dhruv

Sometimes, I just need to stop blaming myself for something I can't control. Or even for something that is completely 100% not my fault. I'm opening my eyes - I've only begun to shineee. ♥

One Day You Will.

In every cloud, there’s a silver lining. Just keep holding on. &Every heartache makes you stronger, but it won’t be much longer. You’ll find love, you’ll find peace &the "you" you’re meant to be. I know right now that’s not the way you feel, but one day you will.

I'm ready to see where my life will take me. I'm behind the wheel, God's my Stella &I'm ready for traffic, accidents &people who don't use their clicker.

As long as I live, I'll always look for the silver lining. That's just me. I know I don't understand the world &can never predict the future, but I do understand that God has a better plan for us.

&That - that makes me hopeful. Don't you bring me down today. ♥