Lesson Learned.

Here's a little journal I found last night that I wrote about a year ago. I don't even remember ever writing it, but I know it's fate that I saw it again. I understood a majority of it back then, but the rest - the rest finally hit me. Here it goes:

"Sometimes, it's better to not wear your heart on your sleeve. Life experiences have trained me to be a cold, bitter girl; yet, I'm so stubborn, I won't let that happen. These boys, they do not define you. It's OK to trust others, but make sure to know that maybe they're not trustworthy. Yes, people can surprise you @times, but happiness is life. Reality minus expectations. Take the past - learn from it. You do not need to be dependent on others for your happiness. It'll be hard, but you have to find that you being loved by yourself is enough. You can only be ready to love others when you love yourself. Be confident in knowing who you are. Find out who you are. Have fun. Don't disregard your morals - you know what is right &what is wrong. Don't let a boy - or any person, in that matter - tell you different. I deserve a lot. I am smart, knowledgeable, wise, loving, focused, disciplined, motivated. Show others that. Do not act dumb. You deserve a lot. Do not punish yourself for the past. Act in the present. Gain inner strength. Be strong, confident, kind to yourself. Find you. Love you."

"...Maybe it's me punishing myself. I know deep in my heart, I deserve better. Hold out until it comes. I should. I have all the time [in the world] to find myself &my motives. Take note - I am not worried about these boys around me. They have tried to define me - mold me. &It was only possible because I let it become possible... Because I don't know what form I a supposed to take into. They should not be my priority. I am my own priority. ON MY OWN TIME. I am disciplined, I am focused."

Watch a good one get away.