Personal Statement.

It's January 8, 2010. My mind is scattered, my thoughts cannot be grasped. How must I be able to confidently &passionately describe what I want to do with my life when I, myself, am very much confused. Maybe it's just a phase. After all, it's almost the end of break &the loss of rest and relaxation would be enough to ignite a shock within me. So, the question is: What do I want to do?

Yes, the obvious answer would be to become a doctor, to obtain my M.D./Ph.D., start my own research group on reproductive endocrinology/infertility while being a practicing OB/GYN. Although I didn't realize my love for biology &everything science until the middle of my first semester as a Nursing major, I knew deep in my heart I wanted to "make a change." Oh, how positively cliche. Let me explain. I had a grandmother who was in her death bed due to a horribly, excruciatingly painful cancer of the bile duct. I saw it consume her every bit. However, the shine in her eyes when she gave me her blessing to switch majors was nothing short of a miracle. I knew then that this is what I was destined to do. After all, this is the road less traveled, the reputation I am making for myself, the promise I am fulfilling not only for me, but for the rest of my family. I am the hope - I cannot &will not relinquish this responsibility that has been bequeathed unto myself. I love science, as well. The ability to easily explain oneself with a chart, with experiments, with logical evidence is wonderful. To bring background to the smallest organisms in the world. To find out the difference in function of a neuronal cell compared to a cell found in stomach lining leaves me dumbfounded. My thirst for knowledge and intellect is quenched by the fountain of everything that is science.

Then, there is the less obvious answer. Well, after writing what I just wrote, I don't fancy it as much. However, it would be good to put it out in the open. There's English and Literature. Oh, my love for reading &writing has expanded since I was eight. Yes, I began a book when I was eight. Yes, I have always had a journal. I loved writing - it was definitely my escape from a bad childhood. Reading made me imagine a life outside of my own; writing allowed me to reflect inside myself. Nonetheless, this is a hobby. If I really loved it as much as science, I would have put time aside to fulfill this desire of the art that is literature. So for now, it will have to take the passenger seat to the subject that I so passionately have written about above in the previous paragraph. Oh, I love alliteration. But anyways, I digress.

I guess what I am trying to do here is to figure out my roots - the roots of my love for education. I love education in general, I love learning, I love teaching. Being able to work in a lab &to teach patients and fellow lab-mates would be my absolute dream. I see myself working in a hospital. I see myself as a leadership figure, no doubt. On the weekends, I will be sitting underneath my cherry blossom tree in my backyard, reading Leo Tolstoy and Jane Austen. However, this is acceptable because I am nothing without my balance. I believe the career I am getting into, becoming a doctor as well as practicing my Ph.D., is just another way of teaching. What I am getting myself into is a world of information, a world of knowledge. Knowledge saves, especially when it comes to medicine. Being able to cure someone's disease or much less a small infection is a hurdle in the world a medicine, but a hurdle nonetheless. It's being pushed to fight in a war, fighting battles with every struggle you face. I am one that loves to learn. I especially love learning how to overcome objections. &That is exactly what diseases, viral infections, unknown growths, &tumors are - they're objections to the human body. &The human body, to me, is the most awe-inspiring organism in the face of the planet (because Lord knows what else is out there in the universe). I have a passion for this. I have the potential to know. I yearn for knowledge. I learn quickly from my mistakes. I own up to any faults or inaccuracies. I live to my word. I have patience. I love to teach &be taught. These are the aspects inside of me that will make me a wonderful doctor and researcher. This is my foundation. My experience will be my walls &ceilings &any intricacies in this building that will house my intellect &growth.

This here, these are my goals. I may not be perfect, I may have billions &billions of flaws. Yet despite that, my resilience pushes me back up &my passion fuels my journey. Because this is the start of a new journey, a new adventure.