"What do you want to do?" It's a common question that everyone keeps asking me. It's not that simple. I'm not complicated, but just wanting something is not a good enough reason to do something. Omy gosh. If I'm able to bluntly ask you what your intentions are, it would be so much easier. What am I afraid of? Misunderstanding the situation, overanalyzing the scenario, interpreting it all wrong. I just don't want to look like the fool. I'm constantly playing that card. If it didn't mean anything for me, I wouldn't give a fuck. But it does. For me. Sorry, but you chose the wrong girl. I'm gaga over you &I can't handle it. Can't you see it? Can I just please get a straight answer? Can't you just look me in the eye &tell me all of it doesn't mean anything, that it was all impulsive? That I was the closest thing you could get your hands on &it was all in vain? That I was so easy to tamper with that you couldn't resist not using me to your advantage? That it's all in fun? That you were thinking of someone else? That it really was just the song? That I'm a time-filler in your busy life? That I hold no significance to you whatsoever? That you thought you saw what you wanted in me, but realized it's not there?
I need all of this to go away. I need you to do it quick - like a band-aid. The sooner I know - the sooner you can verify my over-analyzations, misinterpretations, and misunderstanding of it all - the faster I'll be put out of this misery.
I should have known. I should have known. I should have known. Stop falling. Stop looking. Stop being careless with your heart. This is not worth it. Odds are that I won't be getting what I want. Why couldn't I just go through the motions & not challenge these odds? Why did I have to risk it?
Put me out of my misery, please. I'm breaking down &I see no beauty in it. Release me from your grasp.
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