Epitome of Mediocrity.

As the semester is slowly heading toward a close, I look back ¬ice that different factors were introduced in my life. As much as I want to believe these factors had no probability of affecting my work, it has. The effect? Mediocrity on my part.

Dr. H.G. Adams said at a talk he had recently that 70% of the elements that people stress out about has already happened or will never happen to them. I'm currently stressing about elements that have already happened, namely substandard efforts in my classes. It's more than too late to change all of that. Why am I still stressing? I know that all I can do now is work on my finals. I know I can't get the grades I so highly desired. However, I can still control not getting the grades I know I never want.

It's difficult because I feel that no one really understands how bad I wanted those high grades. So I won't be on the Dean's List this semester - so what, right? Not really. I feel like if I slip up, like I'm doing now, I'm going to disappoint my parents, my brother, &my cousins. I'm not the type that slips. I'm the sponge that soaks up the information like water. The one that understands every detail of what I'm studying, as well as the general idea of things. My brain feels like mush. I used to be smart - Maybe I still am?

I feel like the poster child of mediocrity. But hey, if I'm going to be mediocre, I might as well be at the epitome of mediocrity. I'm not ending this without a fight. Find me in first floor stacks of the library. That'll be my home for the time being.

Meet me in Montauk&hearts.