I Run To You.

This world keeps spinning faster into a new disaster, so I run to you. I run to you baby &when it all starts coming undone, baby you’re the only one I run to. I run to you.

Completely random flashbacks. This is absolutely crazy.

*After lots of thinking &emotional breakdowns &recaps of the two loves in my life, I think I have finally discovered the switch to the lightbulb. While replaying Keith Urban's "You'll Think of Me," I am writing this. I looked through photos &good memories. Through videos &old journals. Through hurtful memories that go along with songs &sudden remembrance of reasons we departed from our relationship. The second love - the most hurtful due to it being the freshest scar - was revisited today through arbitrary visual means. As I was looking through this means, I thought to myself, "I hope he's happy." I don't feel any anger anymore. I know I should considering the circumstances, but I honestly don't. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everything happens for a reason. I know that this is just another "bump in the road." As Rascal Flatts explains it, "Others who broke my heart, they were like Northern stars." It's just another experience &I should take it how it is. I don't miss it. It's in the past &I like keeping it that way. I hope you're happy with her. I hope it works out. We're all in the game to win. I hope you found your winner. You weren't mine. Why feel bad if a banana is a banana? It can't be an orange. So move on &look for your orange, right? Weird metaphor, but I think the point was made. It's okay, I'm okay &I'm going to be mature about it. Thank youuu.

Now... The first love. The love photographed above. Wow. I think I've written many, many, many posts on him. There are no excuses I can make as to why I have. For sure, however, it is not because I'm still "stuck" or "hurt." Truthfully, it's because it was such a great experience with learning, experimenting, loving &pushing each others' limits. Although I look &act incredibly different than how I was back then with him, I'm the same person with the same basic morals. Looking back @the bad in the relationship, all I can think about is the frustration, the common misunderstandings, the unfit puzzle pieces. We grew apart. But looking @the wonderful experiences, all I can see are singing, driving, eating, running, quiet times, &much much more. It paved the ground for the foundation that was about to build. The foundation of Christia. The beginning of the adventures of Christia. Because I think we've all learned by now that it isn't where you're going, but the adventure that takes you there.

Ugh, here's my closure to both of you. I don't care about the reasons why I never received it. I can find peace myself. Because of you. You've only made me stronger through the hardships I had to overcome with you &without you. So, with this, I run to you to relive my journey. To assess my adventure. To learn from my mistakes instead of being hindered by them. I've broken free. I'll find my winner. I found my winner: me. I'm hoping you have found yours &are happy. Because I am. You all know meeee♥.

*Written after hours of thought, stubbornness, &contemplation. Hence, the tone change. [=

Originally by LeAnn Rimes.